Picture of The Day

Identifying Your Introduction and Conclusion

In my paper I used many strategies to draw in my ready starting with the conclusion.  In my conclusion I started with the opening topic of digital media and how it affects everyone's lives.  My voice in the introduction is structural in a way where the point is straight foward. I state how television has affected me from a very young age, all the way to what I am watching today.  In my conclusion I use techniques that repeat my main points in the essay.  I shift the position from the introduction, to the body of the essay where it tells my life stories and how media has changed my viewpoints, to concluding my viewpoints in a way where the reader can sit back and think of previous shows they have watched and how it has affected them and who they are today.

Peer Reviews

I really learned alot from my feedback with my peer.  I saw his view on what the assignment ment to him and how he wrote about how media affected his life and made him who he is today.  His feedback about my essay was very positive.  He said I had very good examples that were very specific .  He liked that the shows progressed from my earlier childhood to present day.  I was on point with the assignment and making it about how media has affected me life and viewpoints. I just need to work on my conclusion to wrap up my essay and bring it all together.

Focusing on Changes in Areas of Paper

One area in my writing I will make changes on is my paragraph about The Big Comfy Couch. I need to change the lessons I told that the show provided and focus more on one or two lessons so I can give my viewpoint in how the lesson changed me as a person and how I viewed the world after watching this show. I will change this paragraph by going back to the paragraph and focusing on what needs to be changed and what I dont need in this paragraph.  I will find my favorite lessons that helped me as a young kid and how I viewed my life from the lessons that were taught. This will help my paper by staying on topic of how media has effected my life and what it showed me about the world.

Feedback on Discovery Draft

My feedback was very positive. I am going in the right direction with what my idea is for the essay. On my discovery draft it is a good outline to remind me what my focus is on and what I should focus more and less on. Some of my feedback was to be specific with lessons and to give examples of the episodes that affected me the most in life. I also need to write more in my paragraphs and not to summerize but give complete details about the show and the lesson it taught me. In my next draft I will include a fuller draft with longer and more specific examples of the lesson the shows taught me.