Class Blogger

Today in class

   We went over the rubric for paper 3, you can find the rubric on the class blog.

   We wrote a reflection on paper 3:
              1. What is your papers biggest asset?
              2. What needs more work?
              3. Something you want me to keep in mind while grading.

   The last and final project is an Anti-Ad 'Zine
        This is a magazine of Anti-Ads
        For the project we will be put in groups of 3-4, the groups will be based upon your audience from paper 3

        You will need a magazine cover and table of contents to turn in
        The table of contents will be there just to say what is in the magazine, and related to the Anti-Ads
        There are four parts to the final project:
              1.The 'Zine
              2.Group Writing 2-3 pages
              3.Individual Writing 1-2 pages
              4.Participation

    At the end of class we analized the music video Gangnam Style

         Above is a picture of the board were the class made it's observations about the video
         The message of this video is a polished social critque showing how the people in Gangnam are reallty wealthy and can be considered jerks.

Gangnam Style

Visual ques to help what song is about
ayy! sexy lady
alot of girls dancing and the guy starring, loving their body language
horses, alive and plastic
country club
private jet
elevator, guy thrusting
in the city using the metro/subway
dresses snazzy
on a bus
dance moves
dancing kid
yellow jacket guy
located in Gangnam
girl on subway
hottub
leans on guy in sauna
windy
traveling
something going on with a girl
The "man"
explosion
fancy red car


Himself
rockstar

Post Secret Notecard

My audience for the notecard is directed towards girls and teenage girls. My notecard has a princess with a crown on her head. This design features a princess with a sparkley butterfly crown on. I used pink, purple, blue and yellow colors to creat a notecard with a pretty, princess feel to it. My secret changed the design to be directed to girls who wish princess fairytales could come true and happen to them in real life.

Peer Review Paper 3

All of the peer review techniques have been helpful but the most helpful one is when we are working one on one with another student reading their essay and writing how they can make different paragraphs work better, how they can add more and make their paper better. This is helpful because after we read and add comments and suggestions to their paper both the you and the partner talk about eachothers papers and hear opimions and comments about how you can make your paper better. I like this because you recieve an outside opinion other than your own during your draft so you can go back and add, edit and revise your paper to make it better. This is also helpful because your partner is a peer and a classmate they can relate to you as a writer more because we are all closely related in how we think and write and can learn about their writing techniques and styles to add to make our paper better.

Advertisement

In this ad, Halle Berry is trying to promote her perfume, Closer. This ad is presented in Cosmopolitan where many young woman read this. The ad is trying to sell perfume to a women in her twenty's and thirty's, whos is looking for intimacy and love. She is in a sexy outfit where her shirt is unbuttoned low and is embraced by a mans muscular arms. This shows Halle Berry's  desire and confidence. The ad wants you to imagine yourself being a confident, sexy woman who will recieve more love and intamacy if they wear this perfume. This perfume will make your man more attracted to you and want to be closer to you.

Deana and Her Dream

It was the first day of softball season and little Deana was ecstatic for her first practice. This was her third season playing. She had been practicing all through fall and winter. Deana wanted to make the travel teams and be one of the top players on her team. Deana wasn’t the best and had to work hard for her spot on each travel trip. She should dedication and focus during practices and their home games. Even though Deana was working hard she wasn’t playing well and missed the spots on the first two travel games.  Deana was becoming frustrated and would practice her drills and technique outside of practice and on the weekends. She started playing well and was proving to her coach the determination she had to make the last and final travel team. This was also an important game that would either bring them to States or end their season. The list was posted and Deana came to practice and hurried to the bulletin wall. She looked down the list and saw her name in the number four spot. She was so excited she could not stop smiling. When they left and arrived to the game Deana was in the zone and ready to win. Deana and her team played an amazing game with struggle and triumph. The final score was six – five. They had won and made it to the States!

Teacher Review Paper 2

Thank you for the feedback. When I go back a work on my paper again I am going to add more about what woodstock was and what took place, I will add about what kind of music was played and how people responded to Woodstock. To add more to my analysis I will add more about how the movie and the picture differ in what happened and what was portrayed that happened in the movie. 

Towards Athletes


                                        Number 12

     Once upon a time, there was an athlete named John. John grew up playing basketball with his dad and ended up on the varisty high school team.  John's mother died at a young age so he grew up with his dad by his side.  Eventually his dad remarried to a woman with two sons his age.  His senior year of high school, his father died of a heart attack on October 12th.  Heartbroken, he was left alone with his stepmother and stepbrothers.  His stepmother was a lazy bitch and didn't like working so she forced John to work so he could pay for his share of the rent.  John had a hard time trying to balance his future in basketball and his obligations with his stepmother.  Not only did his stepmother bully him but his stepbrothers did as well.  They would pick on him at work by making a mess that he would end up cleaning therefore working longer.  His basketball team was doing so well that they made it to the championships.  The  championship game was scheduled a week before the rent was due and also on a day he was scheduled.  If he went to the game he would get fired and not be able to pay his rent, leaving him homeless.  He was terribly upset he had to miss his big game because all the scouts were there but he had to work.  He had a vision of his dad telling him to risk it and go to the game.  He went to the game, won for his team, and ended up with a full ride to his top school, FSU which was far away from his wicked stepmother and brothers.  He played basketball for FSU  and choice the number 12 for his jersy in memory of his father . He then lived happily ever after.

Peer Review on Paper Two

In the class we went over our discovery drafts with a peer.  Alex helped me and guided me in a better direction to follow the assignment and have a purpose to my essay.  I will be analyzing Woodstock through a poster, the movie and newspaper articles about the three day festival in Woodstock, New York.  I will apprpoach this topic by giving a background of Woodstock, the overall message of the festival and how it affected people and how they viewed the world.  I chose this because music is a huge part of my life and music always has a message in it and during Woodstock music was a way people escaped reality.  Today there are still music festival that are three days long or even a week long.  I will also compare and contrast the ideas that the visual and text implies and how they were portrayed.  My peer asked how I felt about my topic and how will I analyze the visual and textual evidence in Woodstock.

Picture of The Day

Identifying Your Introduction and Conclusion

In my paper I used many strategies to draw in my ready starting with the conclusion.  In my conclusion I started with the opening topic of digital media and how it affects everyone's lives.  My voice in the introduction is structural in a way where the point is straight foward. I state how television has affected me from a very young age, all the way to what I am watching today.  In my conclusion I use techniques that repeat my main points in the essay.  I shift the position from the introduction, to the body of the essay where it tells my life stories and how media has changed my viewpoints, to concluding my viewpoints in a way where the reader can sit back and think of previous shows they have watched and how it has affected them and who they are today.

Peer Reviews

I really learned alot from my feedback with my peer.  I saw his view on what the assignment ment to him and how he wrote about how media affected his life and made him who he is today.  His feedback about my essay was very positive.  He said I had very good examples that were very specific .  He liked that the shows progressed from my earlier childhood to present day.  I was on point with the assignment and making it about how media has affected me life and viewpoints. I just need to work on my conclusion to wrap up my essay and bring it all together.

Focusing on Changes in Areas of Paper

One area in my writing I will make changes on is my paragraph about The Big Comfy Couch. I need to change the lessons I told that the show provided and focus more on one or two lessons so I can give my viewpoint in how the lesson changed me as a person and how I viewed the world after watching this show. I will change this paragraph by going back to the paragraph and focusing on what needs to be changed and what I dont need in this paragraph.  I will find my favorite lessons that helped me as a young kid and how I viewed my life from the lessons that were taught. This will help my paper by staying on topic of how media has effected my life and what it showed me about the world.

Feedback on Discovery Draft

My feedback was very positive. I am going in the right direction with what my idea is for the essay. On my discovery draft it is a good outline to remind me what my focus is on and what I should focus more and less on. Some of my feedback was to be specific with lessons and to give examples of the episodes that affected me the most in life. I also need to write more in my paragraphs and not to summerize but give complete details about the show and the lesson it taught me. In my next draft I will include a fuller draft with longer and more specific examples of the lesson the shows taught me. 

John Wayne's "A Love Song"

Didion learns from the John Wayne series of which gender plays which role. She learned that most men should be like John Wayne, a tough gentlemen who can get himself out of any situation. A John Wayne man should be polite and know right from wrong. He stays out of peoples business unless he is brought into them, for example by his brothers and figures out the best way to approach the problem. Didion has learned that being a woman you should grow up proper and find a prince charming who has the qualities of a John Wayne. An example would be realizing at the end of the story that her John Wayne was proper and knew how to present himself in a group of people.

The artist Kid Cudi has played a big role in my high school days. His songs were inspiration for me to find out who I really am. His songs talked about finding your pursuit of happiness and what makes you happy in life. Not to worry about what other poeple think and to have a heart of a lion. To stand up for yourself and your view points on life. No matter if your alone or with a group of people. He songs make me inspired to help people be themselves and not worrying about being judged or what people say. I feel like he sends out a strong message to everyone, inlcuding myself.

Anne Lamott's "Shitty First Drafts"

Anne Lamott's "Shitty First Drafts" was an article about how to write. Lamott explained how all drafts start out shitty, unless you are a god. Noone can make a story, article or book and have one perfect final draft. The essay made me consder that stories take multiple drafts to make a perfect writing.  This essay made me think about my writing skills and techniques and showed me that its ok to have really shitty first drafts or to start off with a wrtiers block or not wanting to write my paper at all. It showed that even the best authors have shitty first drafts and writing takes thoughts, revisions and time.

I have a very tedious process when it comes to my on writing. Most of the time I start out not wanting to writing at all. I have a huge writers block and start off my essay or story. I usually re-write my beginning sentence or paragraph many times, until I find the "perfect" one. And then I will get on a role and write away. As I am writing I will go back and add things where I think they are necessary and make it flow better. I usually write for a while and then go back and edit the beginning or parts that I dont like. I feel like I cant just make a rough draft and leave it the way it is. I need to fix things in my paper when I see it or when I re-read parts of it. And usually by the end I have a rough draft that has very little editing to do because I like to make sure the paper is close to its final draft as posssible.

A metaphor to describe my writing is a volcano erupting. It first starts out slow and bubbles, that is my mind twisting and turning trying to figure out my opening sentence or paragraph. Then when the volcano is finally about to erupt my brain is erupting and I find what to write about and everything poors out. Sometimes my mind can pause and slow down with ideas but then burst again with ideas and creativity.